Overcoming Stigmas

When I was young I was put in the class that would now be called remedial. Basically they thought I wasn’t very bright. I probably wasn’t, I was too young to remember. However, it had an effect on me. I was teased a lot for having to go to them. I was pulled out of normal class every day for this special help, and everyone knew it. I distinctly remember in first grade a teacher yelling at me at the top of her lungs in front of the whole class that I was going to be held back a year. Talk about positive reinforcement. I don’t remember what I did to upset her so much but I obviously made her pretty mad. When I got to my highschool years I had turned my education around and got a lot of great grades. How did this happen? Well I was given an IQ test and found that I was above average and put into a class for the gifted. My confidence went up a thousand times and I started to think I was smart. Fast forward to now and looking at my kids I can see the same pattern. All three of them went into remedial classes, however I don’t think they were teased for it. They all needed help in their own way. We never made a big deal about it, and the kids just accepted it as part of their education. One day I heard a study that kids who don’t get help with their homework were likely to do better than kids who did get help. I told this to my son and from that day on he didn’t want any help. Now I’m not saying this caused him to be brilliant, but it did give him confidence. He eventually tested out of the remedial class and is now getting straight A’s even in advanced classes. My twin daughters took the same route. They were not told about the getting help with homework study. But for the most part they did their homework on their own. What I mean is with little intervention from my wife and I. They still had each other to rely on. Now they to are getting straight A’s in the normal classes and will probably test out of the remedial class as well. It’s important to not place a stigma on our kids. They don’t need to feel less than adequate because they are in remedial classes. I felt stupid because of how I was treated for being in such a class but that was 40 years ago. Teachers were not as kind or caring as they were now. However, we never made my kids feel stupid for needing help. It had actually done wonders for their education. Now my kids are smart and confident in themselves. They tackle things on their own and are very independent. I think we could learn a lesson here about how to treat our kids growing up. Don’t worry if they seem a little behind when they first start out. Trust me they often will catch up.