My Temper

Growing up I had a temper that was unrivaled. I got into a lot of fights because I couldn’ take a joke, or handle being teased. I regret having it, and all the harm I’ve caused other kids throughout my life. It’s embarrassing to admit I had it, but it happened and I have to own up to it. I hope that you learn from what I’m about to say, because maybe you or someone you know also has an explosive temper. Here goes. I enjoyed blowing my top off. It was such an adrenaline rush and it was freeing. I’m not condoning my behavior as appropriate in any way, but it lets the pressure out of me. When I smashed things it felt good. When I hit someone I truly felt I was repaying someone for a wrong that they had done to me. I felt like I could do anything. Until I settled down and had to face the consequences of what I had done. Then the shame would sink it. Have I gotten over my temper, not 100% but I have settled down a lot. I haven’t gotten into a fight since my childhood. To be honest, I’d throw my back out if I threw a punch now. But once in a great while I will lose my cool. However, it’s important for me to share with you how I was able to tame it for the most part. I learned how to laugh at myself. I’m no longer bothered by people who tease me. Sometimes I may misinterpret someone teasing me as them being serious but I don’t blow up over it. The second thing is I have started to think about the consequences more than the feeling of enjoying it. I am more aware of the shame I feel after the fact and try to use that to settle myself down. The pain of shame is greater than the thrill of losing my temper. I hope that this was helpful to you. I don’t want to claim I’m the authoritative source on how to get rid of a temper. This is just how I dealt with it. Maybe you can deal with it the same way.