Facing a New Reality

Our reality is based on how we think, what our emotions are, and how we affect our environment. If we think we are stupid we will act stupid and continue to not learn. If we are hot tempered we are always looking for the next argument or fight. How we perceive the world is through the eyes of how we think. Each person views the world differently. They react to situations much more differently than you. For instance the house could be burning down and a firefighter would remain calm while dealing with the situation. All the while the family is panicking and upset. They perceive the world differently and react differently. Sometimes your reality can change. Sometimes you change it yourself by thinking differently and sometimes it is changed for you. In 2013 I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. It is amazing that out of all the psychiatrists that I had seen when I was younger they never picked up on it. But that’s a story for a different post. My reality had changed. Not in a physical sense but in how I perceived the world. I started to think of all the times I was manic and how much fun I had. Being manic is like being on an adrenaline rush constantly. It’s very addictive. It’s also when I’m most creative. But then the medication hit me. I thought I had my reality change with the diagnosis, I had no clue how bad it could be. The medication took away my creativity. I was a computer scientist doing research and creativity was my bread and butter. I could no longer think the same way I used to. Not only was my creativity stifled but some of the medication made me an absolute zombie. They would put me to sleep and keep me asleep for hours. I remember sitting up in bed to go to work and I just couldn’t open my eyes. It affected my life from day to day. I will go into more details about my bipolar disorder in many more posts and how it challenged me. But for now let’s fast forward to today May 1st, 2022. I have overcome many of the obstacles that my bipolar disorder has thrown at me. I believe I have one more hurdle to overcome. That is being more positive around my family. I believe I will overcome this challenge. With the help of my family pointing out when I’m being negative, and hopefully with me not getting upset at it. I have to change how I react to constructive criticism about being negative all the time with my family. I may be positive to those outside of my family but I let my guard down when I’m home. This must change. I plan on posting more about overcoming my challenges with bipolar as well as keys to how to stay positive in life. As I learn more I hope you learn with me.