How to Use the Word But

I have been told that when you use the word but, you negate everything you said previous to that statement. I love you, but I am not happy with this relationship. You are getting better, but you could work on your attitude. Notice that the only thing that sticks out in those sentences are the negative statements that come after the word but? Never fear, there is a proper way to use the word but. Reverse the positive and negative statements. I am not happy with this relationship, but I love you. You could work on your attitude, but you are getting better. It’s like the oreo theory. You start off with a positive statement, the cookie. Then a negative statement, the filling. Then end with another positive statement, another cookie. That way people will take the negative statements better when they are surrounded by two positive statements. I know it could be up for debate whether the cookie or the filling is positive as far as taste goes. However, you get the meaning. Now let’s take this a step further and talk about venting with the word but. You could say my day was good because of abc, but it was bad because of xyz. Why end it with the negative. That will be the last thing on your mind about how your day was. Change it around and make the last thing you remember about that statement be positive. Bad things happen, life isn’t perfect, but how you perceive and talk about life can change everything from negative to positive.