Am I The Problem

When dealing with people in general and you have negative feelings toward someone because they have upset you, you have to think to yourself, “am I the problem?” Sometimes you have to admit you are. Maybe you have unrealistic or unspoken expectations of the other person. As an example your spouse doesn’t pick up his dirty clothes off the floor and you get upset with them. You have never told your spouse that this makes you angry but you get angry with them anyways. Then you later have an argument with your spouse because you are still stewing from the clothes on the floor. This is a time when you should ask yourself, “am I the problem?” If you have never told your spouse that this makes you angry then you have unrealistic expectations of your spouse reading your mind and picking up after themselves. Now I know that in most relationships you have no problem telling your spouse that that annoys you but you get the point. It is important to realize that in most cases you are upset because your expectations have not been met. Someone has let you down because you wanted better of them. In these cases you need to ask yourself if you're the problem and if you really should get upset or express your feelings to that person. Remember we are all human and we all make mistakes. When we recognize there is a problem and try to resolve it rather than getting upset about it, we may realize that there is no problem at all.