Persistence is Beautiful

There is something to be said about not giving up. There is a beauty in persistence. You never know who or where you will see it. As I was reading Grit by Angela Duckworth I saw a passage about the persistence of someone who knits. How they had grit. Many people start to knit but they never finish their first sweater or scarf, etc. Then I thought about my mother-in-law. I’ve never thought of her as a persistent person with grit. But she does knit. In fact she knits a couple dozen sweaters a year and gives them out. It takes her about two weeks to knit one adult size sweater. One day as she was knitting she had about six inches of sweater started and she started to pull it all out. She said she wasn’t happy with it. I asked her what she meant. She said that she wasn’t enjoying herself while knitting that sweater. Now I have to say all her sweaters are beautiful and I couldn’t imagine not being happy with it. I also thought how could she not enjoy herself with one particular sweater over another one? They are all the same, aren’t they? I never could get a straight answer from her as to what made her enjoy a sweater. I wish I had now with hindsight as I write this blog so I could give you the answer. But I do know that the next time I saw her she had done it again, pulling out a sweater she had started. This time she said that she wasn’t happy with the way the colors were lining up between the body and sleeves. Then it dawned on me. She is a master at her craft and strives for perfection. She was very persistent in her pursuit and over the years had learned to know what she wanted when knitting a sweater. She had gone well beyond just doing it as a hobby, it was a lifelong obsession. We could all learn something from my mother-in-law who has been knitting for ever as far as I know. Her persistence creates the most beautiful sweaters, that she simply gives away. Her only reward is seeing how happy the receiver of her sweaters are. Persistence is beautiful.

Don't Mistake Luck for Hard Work

I hear this a lot of times where someone says, successful people are lucky. Or they see someone with a nice house with a pool and also say they are lucky. I’m here to tell you that luck had nothing to do with it. The people who are successful work hard for where they are. I know I’ve used this quote before but it’s good enough to be said again. The Roman philosopher Seneca once said, “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” The preparation is the hard work that you have to put in. The opportunity is putting yourself in the right position. I am going to create my own luck with being a motivational speaker. As I have said in previous posts, I’ve been reading, watching, and listening to many self help/motivation books, vidoes, and podcasts. I have to say, I’ve learned a lot from them. It has helped me devise a plan to get to my end goal. I’m not ashamed to lay out my plan for you. It’s not going to be a secret. I hope some of you can follow my path and make a success for yourselves. My first step is this blog. The more I write and post the better I become at coming up with material for my engagements. My writing skills will increase. I will also need to build a story and shape my narrative around it. I’m still working on that. Second, I will read other peoples blogs and comment on their posts. I will try to get to know them and become a part of their community. Then eventually when I think the timing is right I will ask to be a guest blogger to post on their blog. If they let me they will also link back to my blog and maybe some of their readers will become my audience as well. Third, I will start practicing my public speaking by posting unedited YouTube videos and podcasts. I want the world to see my progress with becoming a confident public speaker. I will look for feedback on how to improve. Fourth, I will give free public speaking engagements. I will contact churches, clubs, wherever a group of people gather and practice my craft with them. Don’t worry I will eventually get good enough to charge for my engagements. Finally, and this is where I will place myself in position for opportunity. I will go to conferences, public speaking events, business organizations, and just about anything where I can make connections and talk about wanting to be a motivational speaker. Eventually someone will give me the opportunity to speak. With some luck I’ll land some book deals. Which brings me back to the preparation of writing for this blog. By then I’ll have my thoughts organized, my writing skills mastered, and my story developed. So there you have it! I went from preparation to opportunity. I hope that whatever you do in life you can take similar steps and create your own luck with hard work and perseverance. Create your own luck!

Letting My Guard Down v.s. Not Trying

In my last post about having bipolar disorder and being negative toward my family, I stated that I let my guard down with my family. That is, I'm negative around them. My wife read the post and had a criticism of that statement that I took to heart. Rather than edit the post I thought I would leave it and address it in a separate post. Her point was that I didn’t let my guard down. I am not a guarded person. But rather that I simply do not try. Now this can be a painful comment or realization if I let it be one. However, I thought of the book I just recently read called The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. In the book there are four agreements that will let you live in a world that is like heaven. One of the agreements was “Don’t take it personally.” I practiced this when I received criticism from my wife. I have been reading a lot of self help and motivational books lately. They can be found in the resources section on my website. I have been reading them almost as though I were studying for a final exam. I see them as a guide to becoming a motivational speaker. I can certainly say that reading the book on The Four Agreements has definitely opened my eyes and helped me deal with life. So after not taking my wife’s comments personally, I was able to sit back, think about it, and agree with her. I do not let my guard down, I have simply given up trying not to be negative around my family. Now that I have identified the problem, I can more easily rectify it. I can tackle it head on. I recommend that each of you write down what your faults are. Really think about them and make sure you accurately capture them. Then come up with a plan as to how you will deal with them. Finally stick to the plan. We can only change when we make a conscious effort to do so.

Facing a New Reality

Our reality is based on how we think, what our emotions are, and how we affect our environment. If we think we are stupid we will act stupid and continue to not learn. If we are hot tempered we are always looking for the next argument or fight. How we perceive the world is through the eyes of how we think. Each person views the world differently. They react to situations much more differently than you. For instance the house could be burning down and a firefighter would remain calm while dealing with the situation. All the while the family is panicking and upset. They perceive the world differently and react differently. Sometimes your reality can change. Sometimes you change it yourself by thinking differently and sometimes it is changed for you. In 2013 I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. It is amazing that out of all the psychiatrists that I had seen when I was younger they never picked up on it. But that’s a story for a different post. My reality had changed. Not in a physical sense but in how I perceived the world. I started to think of all the times I was manic and how much fun I had. Being manic is like being on an adrenaline rush constantly. It’s very addictive. It’s also when I’m most creative. But then the medication hit me. I thought I had my reality change with the diagnosis, I had no clue how bad it could be. The medication took away my creativity. I was a computer scientist doing research and creativity was my bread and butter. I could no longer think the same way I used to. Not only was my creativity stifled but some of the medication made me an absolute zombie. They would put me to sleep and keep me asleep for hours. I remember sitting up in bed to go to work and I just couldn’t open my eyes. It affected my life from day to day. I will go into more details about my bipolar disorder in many more posts and how it challenged me. But for now let’s fast forward to today May 1st, 2022. I have overcome many of the obstacles that my bipolar disorder has thrown at me. I believe I have one more hurdle to overcome. That is being more positive around my family. I believe I will overcome this challenge. With the help of my family pointing out when I’m being negative, and hopefully with me not getting upset at it. I have to change how I react to constructive criticism about being negative all the time with my family. I may be positive to those outside of my family but I let my guard down when I’m home. This must change. I plan on posting more about overcoming my challenges with bipolar as well as keys to how to stay positive in life. As I learn more I hope you learn with me.

Is the Power of Attraction Wishy Washy?

I read a book called Creating Money - Keys to Abundance by Sanaya Roman and Duane Packer. I thought it was full of wishy washy hogwash. However, it seems every book I read lately talks about the power of attraction. I decided to give the idea a chance, or at least discuss it. The concept is simple. You attract what you think about. Have you ever thought of someone and had them call you on the phone shortly after? Have you ever thought about buying a car and then seen it on the road a lot after that? These examples are not my examples, they come from the books. Well the belief is if you think about what you want enough it will come to you. This is because your thoughts are made of energy and attract like energies such as the energy of money. So you can make yourself magnetic to money! In some books they claim it’s God, the Universe, Source Energy, whatever you believe in. But as a scientist I can’t explain two of the events that have occurred in my life. One was when our bank account card was stolen and a large sum of money was withdrawn from our account. It was going to cause us to miss paying some bills. I got upset and went outside and tried thinking of how I was going to get the money to pay the bills. Well it turned out later that day in the mail came a check from an unlikely source. It was enough to cover the bills until the bank straightened out our account. Did I just pray? Did I send out money vibes to attract money? I don’t know but it sure was a big coincidence. Another time was just recently. We had been saving up a large sum of money to pay taxes. We also needed money to purchase something but we didn’t know where the money was going to come from exactly. I had been thinking about it for a very long time. Well it turns out a month before we wanted to purchase something our accountant said they made a mistake and that we didn’t owe the taxes. Not only that but the money we saved for the taxes happened to be the exact same amount of money needed to make the purchase! Again I ask you, is that the laws of attraction? Why do so many self help books talk about it? Should I try it some more? By the end of the book Creating Money - Keys to Abundance I wasn’t convinced yet, but I did enjoy the book.

Flexing the Creative Muscle

Did you know that as the older you get the more likely you will be less creative? There is actually a scientific reason for this. Your brian is trying to wire itself to make decisions as easy as possible. Therefore it creates pathways in your brian that forms habits to make you decisions without even having to think of them. You are basically wiring your brian to not think outside of the box. Creative people are creative because they flex that creative muscle in their brains. They have adapted to think outside of the box. They use different parts of their brian as well. Does this mean you will never be creative? The answer is no! You just need to work on being creative. Get the juices flowing again. Be that imaginative little kid you once was. Don’t coast through life making the default decisions. Change things up a bit. Go against the grain of your neural pathways that make decisions so easy. I know having habits are healthy and that some pathways you want to keep like doing push ups as soon as you get out of bed. Or brushing your teeth after a meal. But don’t worry, you won’t lose those habits or even hurt your decision making process by trying to be creative. It’s healthy for you to flex that creative muscle. It keeps you sharp and aware. So in conclusion, get out those crayons and colorful construction paper. Get that glitter glue and be creative.

Say Thank You, Have a Nice Day

I always, and I mean always, say thank you and have a nice day with a smile to people who have done something for me, such as a cashier, or a receptionist at the dentist. I believe having a positive attitude is contagious even to people you don’t know. It’s important to spread as much positivity as you possibly can. When I’m on the phone with someone who is trying to help me, I’m pleasant and calm. No matter what the outcome is of the phone call I make sure the person on the other end knows that I have appreciated them. Now I’m not trying to brag, I’m just trying to lead by example. I have noticed my son doing it as well. I’m very proud of him for that. Why is this so important to me? Being positive even in the face of negativity is what will make you succeed in life. I just read the book The Energy Bus by Jon Gorden, where he talks a lot about the power of being positive. It resonated with me so much that I had to share with you my outlook on being positive. When you are positive all the time the neural paths in your brain start to form making it easier to be more positive all the time. It weakens the pathways that lead to negative emotions. That’s why the more you are positive the easier it gets. There is a lot more to say about being positive, however I tend to have short posts. I’m sure I’ll talk about this subject in many more posts to come as I learn how to express myself more. So, live a positive life, it’s much better than the alternative.