tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28035289959238437142024-02-20T12:14:30.495-08:00RobGrantsBlogWe Will Change Our Lives Together.Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18378568725952349490noreply@blogger.comBlogger115125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803528995923843714.post-15699527889188031802022-05-24T04:45:00.004-07:002022-05-24T04:45:55.514-07:00Be The MirrorI have read from multiple sources and have seen it for myself that you can be affected emotionally by being around someone who is in a negative or positive mood. That is to say if someone is depressed and you spend a lot of time with them you can become depressed as well. You reflect the emotions of the people around you. So I ask you, are you the reflection or are you the mirror?
It isn’t always the case that you reflect other people’s emotions but that they reflect yours. That being said, it’s important to remember what emotions you want reflected back to you. You want positive emotions reflected back, therefore your need to be positive stronger than the people you are around.
In order to be the mirror you have to work on being strong in your emotions. You may not be positive all the time. You could be depressed. In that case you need to remember that you may be the mirror and that there is a chance that you will bring down the people around you. It’s at times like those that you want to try to ease up on being the mirror. Let other people's positive attitudes lift you up and reflect their good vibes.
It is important to remember sometimes you are the reflection and sometimes you are the mirror. The best situation is when you are a positive mirror and lift up those around you. So be a mirror that reflects the sun and shines upon everyone.
Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18378568725952349490noreply@blogger.com0Marcy, NY 13403, USA43.1706253 -75.291556414.860391463821152 -110.4478064 71.48085913617885 -40.135306400000005tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803528995923843714.post-2068319937406426282022-05-24T04:34:00.002-07:002022-05-24T04:34:15.832-07:00The Growth of a ThoughtIn the book Your Mental Mess by Dr. Caroline Leaf she says, whatever we think about the most grows, because we are giving it energy. Now when she talks about the thought growing she means it literally grows in your brain. The parts of your brian that makes memories whether it be mental, emotional, or physical start to grow the memory like a tree. Since memories require energy tto grow bigger and stronger, the more you think about them the more they will grow and be solidified in your brian. The stronger they are the more they have an effect on you.
How is this important to you? Well here is a real life example of one memory that bothers me. I once was driving on the highway and a car was entering from an on ramp. I slowed down to let them in, however they slowed down as well to let me by. I continued to slow down and so did the other person. This put me in a dangerous position since I was nearly stopped on the highway. I got pretty mad at the person for not just getting on the highway.
Now why does this memory stick with me? Because I keep thinking of it and allowing it to grow. Every time I pass that on ramp I remember that time when I got so upset. I also randomly think about it without even driving by it. It brings back the feeling of being upset. This is both a mental memory as well as an emotional memory as well. I don’t want to let this memory pop up every once in a while because it’s a silly memory to think about and to let me get all worked up over.
So one way I try to combat this memory is every time it pops up I need to remind myself that I was in the wrong in that situation. I had the right away and should have sped up a little. I think deep down I do know that I was wrong and I’m actually not mad at the person in the other car but mad at myself for making such a dangerous mistake. I haven’t read all of Dr. Leaf’s book yet but I believe she is going to explain that that’s exactly how you combat memories that have such a control over you.
Whenever you start to have a thought, recognize it and think to yourself, do I really want this thought to be a strong moment in my life? Do you really want to give it the energy to grow in your brian and affect you down the road? If the answer is no, then try not to think about it. Or at least rationalize that it isn’t that important to you. It may not be easy at first but eventually you will get better at it.
Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18378568725952349490noreply@blogger.com0Marcy, NY 13403, USA43.1706253 -75.291556414.860391463821152 -110.4478064 71.48085913617885 -40.135306400000005tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803528995923843714.post-42634883957490402292022-05-24T04:10:00.004-07:002022-05-24T04:10:34.855-07:00It’s Hard StartingWhenever there is a task that we don’t want to do like working out, cleaning our room, vacuuming, etc. it’s important to realize that the hardest part about the whole thing is starting. Actually getting off your butt and doing it.
So let’s think in terms of exercising. Some days you just don’t have it in you. We have all been there. However, have you ever just started exercising and you think to yourself, “This isn’t bad, I wonder why I didn’t want to do it.” Well let’s turn this around in terms of starting the exercise you didn’t want to do in the first place.
Whenever you have a hard time starting just think about what your future self will be thinking once you get going. You know your future self will actually feel better while exercising and will feel much better when it is all done.
It’s important to your mental health and sometimes your physical health to get over that hump of starting and just do it. Trust me your future self will thank you.
Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18378568725952349490noreply@blogger.com0Marcy, NY 13403, USA43.1706253 -75.291556414.860391463821152 -110.4478064 71.48085913617885 -40.135306400000005tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803528995923843714.post-27280342817582315702022-05-24T03:55:00.004-07:002022-05-24T03:55:33.927-07:00Am I The ProblemWhen dealing with people in general and you have negative feelings toward someone because they have upset you, you have to think to yourself, “am I the problem?” Sometimes you have to admit you are. Maybe you have unrealistic or unspoken expectations of the other person.
As an example your spouse doesn’t pick up his dirty clothes off the floor and you get upset with them. You have never told your spouse that this makes you angry but you get angry with them anyways. Then you later have an argument with your spouse because you are still stewing from the clothes on the floor. This is a time when you should ask yourself, “am I the problem?” If you have never told your spouse that this makes you angry then you have unrealistic expectations of your spouse reading your mind and picking up after themselves. Now I know that in most relationships you have no problem telling your spouse that that annoys you but you get the point.
It is important to realize that in most cases you are upset because your expectations have not been met. Someone has let you down because you wanted better of them. In these cases you need to ask yourself if you're the problem and if you really should get upset or express your feelings to that person.
Remember we are all human and we all make mistakes. When we recognize there is a problem and try to resolve it rather than getting upset about it, we may realize that there is no problem at all.
Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18378568725952349490noreply@blogger.com0Marcy, NY 13403, USA43.1706253 -75.291556414.860391463821152 -110.4478064 71.48085913617885 -40.135306400000005tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803528995923843714.post-26285962949426613102022-05-24T03:15:00.004-07:002022-05-24T03:15:34.194-07:00Define Your WhyAs important as it is to set goals in your life, equally important is defining your “Why”. Specifically you are defining Why you are trying to achieve your goals. There has to be a reason to drive you, and it needs to be a good one.
For example, if you are trying to lose weight and your Why is as simple as “I want to fit into my dress for someone’s wedding” you really haven’t given a strong enough Why to make a lasting change. What’s going to happen after the wedding? Are you going to give up on losing weight and gain it all back?
My Why is a very powerful motivator for me. My daughter has type 1 diabetes. I was pre-diabetic due to what I was eating and my weight for a long time. I had realized that if I kept going down that path I would be the second family member to get diabetes, however unlike my daughter, this would be my own fault. I just couldn’t do that to my family.
So the Why has to be something tangible and concrete that solidifies your resolve to chase that goal. It must drive you to want to reach your goals so every day you wake up and think to yourself, “this is why I want to reach my goal”.
Come up with your own Why. Think long and hard about it. It’s ok to have more than one why, the more the merrier.
Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18378568725952349490noreply@blogger.com0Marcy, NY 13403, USA43.1706253 -75.291556414.860391463821152 -110.4478064 71.48085913617885 -40.135306400000005tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803528995923843714.post-41774437065091900272022-05-19T15:08:00.006-07:002022-05-19T15:08:42.862-07:00Unnecessarily SufferingThe philosopher Seneca said, “He suffers more than necessary, who suffers before it is necessary.” Basically this is saying don’t worry about it. If you are worrying about something well before you have to, you will be adding to your suffering.
For example if you have to have a painful medical procedure done and you worry about the pain well before you even experience it, you are just adding to your suffering. This is easier said than done.
How do you combat worry? You live in the now! Worrying is only about living in the future and you are forgetting to enjoy life right now.
For example, my mother-in-law worries about everything. She worries about what to make for dinner the moment she wakes up in the morning. She worries about her car being stolen while she is away. She worries so much that she doesn’t allow herself to enjoy life to its fullest.
This is no way to live. In constant fear that something bad is going to happen. In order to not suffer more than is necessary you need to take a deep breath, enjoy what is going on right now, and count your blessings.
Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18378568725952349490noreply@blogger.com0Marcy, NY 13403, USA43.1706253 -75.291556414.860391463821152 -110.4478064 71.48085913617885 -40.135306400000005tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803528995923843714.post-38003373508801190642022-05-19T15:08:00.001-07:002022-05-19T15:08:05.724-07:00The Imposter SyndromeThe imposter syndrome refers to an internal experience of believing that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be. Basically you feel like you are doing something that others perceive you to be good at when you feel like you really are not. Let me tell you, I face this every day at work.
With my job we are constantly challenged to do technical things that we haven’t done before. It adds unnecessary stress to my life. It’s something I have to combat every day. Stress is unhealthy.
So why did I take such a job? Why did I get hired if I didn’t have the skills to perform it? I took the job because I wanted to push myself. I wanted to grow my technical skills and not become stale. My boss hired me not for my technical knowledge but for my ability to learn fast and solve problems.
When the imposter syndrome creeps up on me, I have to remember that I have the ability to learn anything I need on the fly to get the job done. I have to mentally calm myself down, not panic, and just put my head down and get the job done.
Whenever you feel the imposter syndrome take hold of you, just remember, there is nothing you can’t do with a little learning. It may take you longer than someone who already knows how to do it, but in the end you will grow as a person for persevering and not giving up.
So take a deep breath, and believe you can do it.
Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18378568725952349490noreply@blogger.com0Marcy, NY 13403, USA43.1706253 -75.291556414.860391463821152 -110.4478064 71.48085913617885 -40.135306400000005tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803528995923843714.post-3074337150921503872022-05-19T15:07:00.006-07:002022-05-19T15:07:34.125-07:00Forget Why It Won’tPaulo Coehlo said “It will work if you forget all the reasons it won’t.” How many times have you seen something and you thought to yourself, “That won’t work” and yet you’ve been wrong? Do you think the people who wanted to do that something were held back by the “it won’t work” attitude?
People who succeed fail over and over again until they find something that works. Thomas Edison worked on over 3,000 theories before he succeeded with the lightbulb. He definitely didn’t think about the reasons it wouldn’t work.
Children also have the ability to think things will work when they shouldn’t. I’ve seen kids build some pretty amazing stuff that defies what I thought wouldn’t work. We have to start thinking like kids again and not worrying about what won’t work and go for it.
Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18378568725952349490noreply@blogger.com0Marcy, NY 13403, USA43.1706253 -75.291556414.860391463821152 -110.4478064 71.48085913617885 -40.135306400000005tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803528995923843714.post-76658723399336132862022-05-19T15:07:00.001-07:002022-05-19T15:07:03.354-07:00Quit Today, Quit TomorrowThis is a very simple concept that doesn’t need much explanation. It’s best explained via example. If you quit eating healthy today saying you will eat healthy tomorrow, you will find that it will be just as easy to quit tomorrow as well.
If you don’t have the ability to stop yourself today it will only become a habit of you not stopping yourself over and over again.
So basically don’t quit on yourself today with the intention of not quitting on yourself tomorrow.
Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18378568725952349490noreply@blogger.com0Marcy, NY 13403, USA43.1706253 -75.291556414.860391463821152 -110.4478064 71.48085913617885 -40.135306400000005tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803528995923843714.post-23710918268815608802022-05-19T15:06:00.004-07:002022-05-19T15:06:26.071-07:00Not Having Control or Not Taking ControlI’ve heard from several sources that there is a difference between not having control and not taking control. To not have control means that there are external factors preventing you from doing something. Taking control is actively choosing to do something.
When you are trying to lose weight you may think you have no control over your appetite, over your surroundings, over your exercise. This simply isn’t true! All of those things are within your control. You have to stop blaming everything on something else and start taking accountability for your actions.
For me the turning point was when I decided to become a motivational speaker. I didn’t worry about what wasn’t in my control because all of it was within my control. How much I read, write, speak, and learn were all things I was in control of. I simply needed to take that control. It requires effort on my part but when I put the effort in I will succeed.
Whenever you feel like life is out of control, take a moment and look at what is in your control. Soon you will realize that pretty much everything is in your control. When you realize this you will learn that you can do anything.
Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18378568725952349490noreply@blogger.com0Marcy, NY 13403, USA43.1706253 -75.291556414.860391463821152 -110.4478064 71.48085913617885 -40.135306400000005tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803528995923843714.post-40574234401469565522022-05-19T15:05:00.007-07:002022-05-19T15:05:53.146-07:00Practicing The Problem Or The SolutionIn the book Chasing Cupcakes by Elizabeth Benton she explains that many of us are practicing the problem and not practicing the solution. What she means is that we are always focusing on the problem and not focusing on the solution. It is time to move beyond thinking about the problem and start thinking about the solution.
As an example I would spend a lot of time thinking about a problem I have at work. I would worry myself sick about not knowing what I need to know to get the job done. I was practicing the problem. What I need to do is stop worrying about it and get to solving the problem. If I just stopped wasting my energy on worrying and started doing something about it, I would be better off.
You may be focusing on how much weight you need to lose and think that it’s too much. That the task is too great. That you never stick to a diet. You are practicing the problem. You should be working on the solution. You will never get anywhere just by thinking about the problem.
So what are you going to focus on from now on? The problem or the solution?
Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18378568725952349490noreply@blogger.com0Marcy, NY 13403, USA43.1706253 -75.291556414.860391463821152 -110.4478064 71.48085913617885 -40.135306400000005tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803528995923843714.post-62760730184373743652022-05-19T15:05:00.002-07:002022-05-19T15:05:15.162-07:00Learning vs PracticeDon’t get stuck in a pattern where you spend all your time learning about what you want to do. Make sure you put what you learn into practice. It is important to keep yourself learning, we never want to grow stale, however you will engrain it in your brian more if you put it to practice.
For example I’m reading like a mad man about self help and motivation. I am truly learning in this area. However, I’m not practicing it as much as I should. What I mean by practice is I’m not spending enough time doing the exercises in the books that will lead to a better outcome for me. I’m simply reading to read at this point.
I know that the exercises will take up a lot of my time but I need to do it. A lot of them involve writing down answers to questions. Making goals and plans on how to get there. I shouldn’t feel the need to move onto the next book so quickly.
So I’m going to take my own advice and do all the exercises and completely take advantage of these books. I will begin to practice what I learn so that it will sink in and I can better help others.
Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18378568725952349490noreply@blogger.com0Marcy, NY 13403, USA43.1706253 -75.291556414.860391463821152 -110.4478064 71.48085913617885 -40.135306400000005tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803528995923843714.post-12878368068033462472022-05-19T15:04:00.006-07:002022-05-19T15:04:37.945-07:00Effort vs ProgressAs mentioned in Chasing Cupcakes by Elizabeth Benton, there is a difference between effort and progress. Effort is not measurable whereas progress is. You could be doing all kinds of effort but if it isn’t showing progress you need to change your strategy.
As an example you could be putting in a lot of effort to lose weight but unless you see differences in your measurements or a drop on the scale you are not making progress. You need to reevaluate what you are doing. It only boils down to two things in this case. There may either be something wrong with your diet or your exercise, or even both.
You have to stop wasting all your energy on effort that isn’t showing progress. I can blog until my fingers bleed but if I don’t have an audience I am not showing any progress. I am putting all my effort into content and no effort into gaining an audience.
Your energy is valuable. You need to spend it wisely. If you don’t see progress then you must change what you are spending that energy on.
Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18378568725952349490noreply@blogger.com0Marcy, NY 13403, USA43.1706253 -75.291556414.860391463821152 -110.4478064 71.48085913617885 -40.135306400000005tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803528995923843714.post-59958668916265114392022-05-19T15:04:00.001-07:002022-05-19T15:04:04.961-07:00Getting to Where You Want to GoWe have all been there, we have the right attitude and positive intentions to get to our goals. However, having only those things won’t get you to where you want to go. You need to take action. Without action or even baby steps in the right direction you will never get anywhere.
For example, you could be gung ho about losing weight. You have the right attitude, you have done your homework, your intentions are there, but that’s all you have. You are not eating right or exercising. You need to act the part. It doesn’t matter how little you act as long as you are doing something.
So in conclusion having the right attitude and intentions are great. They will keep you motivated, but what are they trying to keep you motivated to do? Action.
Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18378568725952349490noreply@blogger.com0Marcy, NY 13403, USA43.1706253 -75.291556414.860391463821152 -110.4478064 71.48085913617885 -40.135306400000005tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803528995923843714.post-90982173578488933262022-05-19T15:03:00.003-07:002022-05-19T15:03:28.081-07:00Doing The Right WorkI’ve heard from multiple sources that it’s not important that you do the work right, but whether you are doing the right work. For example, as mentioned before, Richard Hamming states that when people work with their doors closed they may be doing research but by not being open to new ideas they may not be doing the right research.
This also falls under that category of working smarter not harder. If you are focusing all of your energy on doing your work right, you might be wasting all that energy if it’s not getting you where you want to go.
Let’s think of this in terms of weight loss as explained by Elizabeth Benton in the book Chasing Cupcakes. If you are trying to lose weight and you focus only on working out and eating right you are doing the work right but might not be doing the right work. You need to focus on the reasons why you gained weight in the first place and work on that or else you will fall back into the same patterns again.
Another way of looking at it is I may want to be a motivational speaker, and even though I’m doing the work right such as blogging all the time to develop material, I’m not doing the right work which is practicing my public speaking. I need to get comfortable with talking in front of an audience more so than working on my message.
So take a look at where you are trying to improve in your life or what goals you are working on. If you are working on the right things then the path to your goals will be easier and more productive than if you are doing the work right on the wrong thing.
Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18378568725952349490noreply@blogger.com0Marcy, NY 13403, USA43.1706253 -75.291556414.860391463821152 -110.4478064 71.48085913617885 -40.135306400000005tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803528995923843714.post-48010212929620851402022-05-16T16:58:00.002-07:002022-05-16T16:58:26.726-07:00Be Smarter Than Your ExcusesI wish I could say I came up with the phrase, “Be stronger than your excuses”, but I did not. I know I've heard or read it several times somewhere. Wherever it came from is not the point. I want to modify this statement to say “Be smarter than your excuses”.
The original term is stronger than our excuses. This statement implies brute force willpower, which never works. The people who have had the most success overcoming their excuses do so by changing their mindset. They have been able to ask themselves questions that will lead to a better answer than their excuse.
For example if you want to eat that last brownie, but you know you shouldn’t, so you come up with an excuse of “I’ll just eat better tomorrow.” You know full well that’s a cheap excuse and you can outsmart it. You can easily say that, “It’s not going to bring me any more pleasure than the brief moment of tasting it.” or “If I put off eating healthy one day then I’m only cheating myself.”
If you leave it up to willpower every time you are faced with a choice then you eventually will stop enjoying the process and start resenting it. Willpower can only get you so far. But your intelligence will get you farther.
Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18378568725952349490noreply@blogger.com0Marcy, NY 13403, USA43.1706253 -75.291556414.860391463821152 -110.4478064 71.48085913617885 -40.135306400000005tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803528995923843714.post-32039069407933418142022-05-16T16:57:00.003-07:002022-05-16T16:57:31.382-07:00Read, Listen, and WatchAs stated in previous posts there is a reason why we overeat. There is a reason why we self sabotage our goals. There is a reason why we are not pursuing our dreams. Well, it’s time to get inspired! If you are reading this you are already on the right track, because you are trying to get inspired.
The way to get inspired is to read books, blogs, and magazine articles that will lead you down the right path. Another way to become inspired is to listen to podcasts, other people who have made it to their goals, and audio books on the goal you are interested in. Finally watch videos, movies, and other things that are also on the goal you want to achieve.
You can have your own grit and plow through to your goals the hard way, or you can find inspiration and learn from others the easy way. It is very important that you keep yourself motivated in any way you can. So take advantage of all the forms of media out there that will help you. I assure you that you are not the only one with your particular goal. There are many people out there who have made it, who were successful in their goal, and it is probably very similar to your goal as well.
Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18378568725952349490noreply@blogger.com0Marcy, NY 13403, USA43.1706253 -75.291556414.860391463821152 -110.4478064 71.48085913617885 -40.135306400000005tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803528995923843714.post-27227838809980212182022-05-16T16:56:00.004-07:002022-05-16T16:56:52.681-07:00Doesn’t Add PleasureIn the book Chasing Cupcakes by Elizabeth Benton, she says “Overeating didn’t add pleasure to my life; it took it away.” This requires us to ask the question, what adds pleasure to our lives? This can only be answered by you, but it shouldn’t be overeating. If you are ok with your size and have no problem with it then overeating shouldn’t be an issue. However, most of us have problems with our size. But is it really our size that bothers us, or the reason we are that size.
Yes, being large can contribute to how we think of ourselves, but it is just a symptom of a bigger problem. I’d like to say that in all cases overeating is related to stress, grief, anger, etc. But it’s not always the case that we are emotionally eating. Sometimes we just have to admit that food tastes good.
That being said, overeating is still caused by something. We need to look at ourselves very closely and determine what is the root problem. Is it because you are living in the past and feel that you were not loved enough? Is it because you are comforted by food because that’s how families celebrate, is with food? Can it be that our bodies are addicted to the feeling of being full? Could it be a chemical reaction caused by the food we eat? There are many reasons why someone overeats. It’s a matter of you determining the cause.
So let’s get back to the quote at hand. If overeating takes away the pleasure in one’s life, then why do it? I don’t think it comes down to brute force will power. That’s not addressing the issue at all. That’s just setting us up for failure. I can’t come up with all the questions you have to ask yourself, let alone the answers.
But I highly recommend looking into yourself and finding the root cause of the problem. If you can’t do it, find a friend, a life coach, or a therapist that can help you ask the right questions. You don’t have to do this alone. There are plenty of people out there who can help.
Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18378568725952349490noreply@blogger.com0Marcy, NY 13403, USA43.1706253 -75.291556414.854072090874364 -110.4478064 71.487178509125627 -40.135306400000005tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803528995923843714.post-6292464508104954902022-05-13T05:56:00.000-07:002022-05-13T05:56:00.407-07:00I Can Do ThatI was watching the painter in my kitchen paint the trim along the floor. He was perfect in his painting, not a smudge on the floor. I told him I can’t do that. Then I started thinking of how I say I couldn’t be a social worker, because I would get too emotionally invested.
The other day it hit me. I should never say I can’t do that. I can do anything if I put my mind to it. If it takes practice, so be it. I shouldn’t think of it in terms of I can’t. I am the one telling people and myself to chase dreams. Can’t shouldn’t be in our vocabulary.
It’s interesting how easily we can dismiss ourselves and think something isn’t possible. The reality is that we are capable of doing anything. So from now on, I will remind myself that I can do that.
Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18378568725952349490noreply@blogger.com0Marcy, NY 13403, USA43.1706253 -75.291556414.860391463821152 -110.4478064 71.48085913617885 -40.135306400000005tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803528995923843714.post-77169556648192355192022-05-13T05:55:00.003-07:002022-05-13T05:55:26.333-07:00The Power of WritingIt’s not enough to say what your goals are, you actually have to write them out. You need to commit them to paper so that you know that it’s official. There is a lot of power in writing out your goals so that you can review them over and over again.
Not only that, but you need to write out your plan on how to get to your goals. That way you have thought it through and know exactly what you need to do. It may be that you have set little goals along the way as a path to your main goal. This is also a good way to get to where you want to be.
It would solidify your resolve even more if you shared your goals with someone and maybe even get some feedback on your plan. That way you are getting advice and being held accountable at the same time.
Writing them out makes you think clearly as to what you want. It helps to state exactly what you want and when you want it. So write those goals out as clearly as you can. Make sure you have your plan in place as well. Think about your commitments often and read them daily. Keep focused and you will succeed.
Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18378568725952349490noreply@blogger.com0Marcy, NY 13403, USA43.1706253 -75.291556414.860391463821152 -110.4478064 71.48085913617885 -40.135306400000005tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803528995923843714.post-64469100661693836862022-05-13T05:54:00.007-07:002022-05-13T05:54:47.903-07:00I am Not a Fat ManFor all of my adult life I have been unhealthy. I could often hear myself telling others “I’m a fat man”. I would identify with being fat and allow it to determine the type of person I was. What is funny is that I had learned early on that I shouldn’t say “I’m bipolar” but rather, “I have bipolar disorder”. I was taught not to let the disorder be what I identify as. Why couldn’t I have made this connection with being unhealthy.
It’s simple, I had already had it ingrained in my brian that I was a fat man well before I knew I had bipolar disorder. I was told right away by my doctor how I should refer to my disorder. No one told me how to refer to my size properly. It was something that had just always been.
The problem with identifying as a fat man is that you will always live up to that expectation. No matter how much weight I lose I will always have it in my brian that I’m a fat man. I will inevitably let my perception win and I will gain my weight back again.
So from now on I’m not going to say “I’m a fat man”, but rather “I am striving to be healthy” It’s a more positive way of seeing myself. By saying I’m striving I’m saying I’m always actively working on getting healthy. It will become a part of who I am.
So stop identifying as someone you should not be. You are not fat anymore. You are striving to be healthy. You are working on improving your life daily.
Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18378568725952349490noreply@blogger.com0Marcy, NY 13403, USA43.1706253 -75.291556414.860391463821152 -110.4478064 71.48085913617885 -40.135306400000005tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803528995923843714.post-88133323689871810912022-05-13T05:54:00.002-07:002022-05-13T05:54:10.911-07:00Keep GoingRecently I’ve noticed little failures on my part that are starting to add up to one big failure. As I work toward being a motivational speaker, I am constantly reminded that I’m not perfect. Whether it be that I don’t post a video/blog for a day, or I don’t follow my own personal goals of working out. Another way is I’m seeing mistakes in my attitude. I’m not positive all the time. I find myself slipping in how I react to certain situations.
I can’t let this get me down in the least bit. Not everyone can work toward their goals 100% of the time. The key is to at least make incremental progress every day. Don’t just give up due to minor setbacks. You set a goal for a reason.
We all face what we call failures. What we really need to do is call them lessons. They are lessons on our way to our goals. Each lesson should propel you forward in your resolve. So from now on I will not think I’m failing, I will think I’m learning.
Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18378568725952349490noreply@blogger.com0Marcy, NY 13403, USA43.1706253 -75.291556414.860391463821152 -110.4478064 71.48085913617885 -40.135306400000005tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803528995923843714.post-13728496321559417862022-05-13T05:53:00.005-07:002022-05-13T05:53:36.464-07:00Shake Up Your DaysI recently noticed myself doing the same thing in a pattern every day. I know it’s good to develop good habits, but even the best of habits can become boring. I would get up and read/write. Start work then spend a half hour on the stationary bike during lunch. After work I would cook a healthy meal then do another half hour on the stationary bike. Finally I would read/write until I went to bed. Very regimented and very boring.
I began to slack off with working out and eating healthy because it was getting to be so monotonous. I realized that I need to shake my days up in order to get back on track. I grabbed my laptop and worked outside today. I will also ride my actual bike or go for a walk now that the weather is nice. I will try to slip a movie in there now and then as well.
If you want to succeed at a goal you can’t just do the same thing day in and day out. You can still work on your goals but do it in a different way. If you are like me and striving to succeed in your pursuit of a better life, make sure that you don’t bore yourself to death in achieving that life.
Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18378568725952349490noreply@blogger.com0Marcy, NY 13403, USA43.1706253 -75.291556414.860391463821152 -110.4478064 71.48085913617885 -40.135306400000005tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803528995923843714.post-38102461996379141462022-05-13T05:53:00.000-07:002022-05-13T05:53:02.521-07:00Know Your AudienceWhen I first started to talk about motivation it was in videos I would post on WW (formally Weight Watchers) social media Connect. I would post tips on losing weight and how to change your mindset to help lose weight. I got a lot of positive feedback in the comments for this. I thought that I would start working on this blog and post more general motivational ideas.
However, I started to post less about weight loss and more about positive thinking on the Connect app. I slowly started seeing a decline in comments on my videos. I didn’t realize it but I lost touch with my audience. I wasn’t telling them what they wanted to hear.
My wife pointed this out to me the other day, saying that I had changed my style of posts. I can always count on my wife to point out things like that to me. I realized I have to get back to my roots on the Connect app and start talking about weight loss again.
The key takeaway from this is that you need to know your audience. Don’t do things just because you want to, but do things that your audience wants. They might not be interested in all the things that you are. Spend a little time and notice what kind of feedback you are getting.
This is a valuable lesson I needed to learn as I move forward with my motivational speaking. So pay attention and make sure that if you are writing, vlogging, or speaking in front of an audience that you know what they want.
Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18378568725952349490noreply@blogger.com0Marcy, NY 13403, USA43.1706253 -75.291556414.860391463821152 -110.4478064 71.48085913617885 -40.135306400000005tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2803528995923843714.post-10854732944619975962022-05-13T05:52:00.003-07:002022-05-13T05:52:28.307-07:00Furrowed BrowI don’t have a resting happy face. I am often in deep thought and that causes me to furrow my brow. When my wife notices this she always asks me what’s wrong. When I say nothing she tells me that I have a furrowed brow like I’m upset.
This got me thinking about my previous post on posture. I was unintentionally sending the wrong messages. So I’ve committed to relaxing my face more. I don’t know how silly I look but at least I don’t look angry anymore.
What is interesting is that by actively relaxing my face I can feel my mood uplift. It’s a simple act but it makes me feel better. I wondered what other kinds of postures I could take to change my mood.
One of them was sitting up straight in my chair. I tend to bend my head forward and slouch my shoulders. When I sit up I feel much more confident and confidence breeds self respect. I feel like a new man when I change my posture.
I would recommend all of you to pay attention to your posture and see what kind of mood it puts you in. Then take on a posture that will give you a more positive attitude. It worked for me, and I know it will work for you.
Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18378568725952349490noreply@blogger.com0Marcy, NY 13403, USA43.1706253 -75.291556414.860391463821152 -110.4478064 71.48085913617885 -40.135306400000005